Natural Hair: No Limits

I was at the track this morning doing my daily walk/run. Shortly after I arrived, it started to rain lightly. Determined to stay on track with my exercise routine, I did not let the rain deter me so I continued on. There was one other person at the track doing sprints. As I continued on, it started to rain harder. It wasn't heavy rain but enough that it would have sent some people running back to their car. As I continued my laps, I came up on the guy doing sprints and he stopped me and asked me, "Aren't you gonna mess up your hair?". The question threw me off at first because I haven't worried about my hair in the weather in years. I laughed and replied, "Sweetie my hair is natural so the rain won't hurt it one bit". He smiled and went back to his sprints. As I continued to walk, it got me thinking about when my hair was relaxed. There were so many things I wouldn't do because I didn't want to mess up my hair. Things like swimming, outdoor exercise, tennis and softball. These are things I love to do. It's so crazy that I was allowing my hair to dictate what I did or didn't do. Every since I went natural, my hair has never come up as a reason to not do something. It's like India Arie's song, I am not my hair. Now that my hair is natural, my hair frees me rather instead of limiting me. What a wonderful revelation! Running with the rain coming down on my hair and face was just wonderful this morning and is definitely something I would do again.

Natural Hair, No Limits....

Henna....How I Love Thee, You Keep Away The Grays

I have been obsessed with my hair since I went natural a little over four years ago. I have enjoyed becoming reacquainted with my hair. I was constantly lurking natural hair sites soaking up every piece of information I could. During the process, I became a serious product junkie. All I needed was to hear about a product and I was off to the store to try it out. I had so many hair products that I had to keep them all in a separate bathroom. LOL! One product that I read about from time to time but never thoroughly was henna. For the most part, I read that it was for the purpose of coloring the hair. Despite being lured by so many other products, I didn't take the bait about henna right away. I was still using a commercial color for my gray hairs so I never felt compelled to use henna.

In recent months, I started moving away from a lot of commercial hair products and more toward natural products such as coconut oil, olive oil, jojoba, etc. When I noticed my grays starting to come back, I decided this was just as good a time as any to start using henna. With the help of my friend, Cassandra, I did my first application. When I rinsed it out, I was pleasantly surprised!! My hair felt strong and thicker. I've always wanted really thick hair so I can have big afro puffs as my hair gets longer. I finished styling my hair and was very pleased with the results. The henna gave me beautiful brownish auburn color and is even more enhanced in bright light or sunlight. I also noticed my hair had a beautiful shine to it as well. I was so hooked at first, I was using henna every two weeks! Now I only use it once a month. As a result of the strengthening qualities of henna, I have been able to eliminate yet another commercial product from my collection of products - Aphogee Protein Treatments. I'm actually glad about that because Aphogee stinks all to be damned.

I strongly recommend henna for any woman who wants stronger, healthier hair. You won't be disappointed.....

Why Am I Militant Because My Hair Is Natural??

Every since I went natural, practically everyone I know says that I am militant. This is particularly true among women. They sometimes even call me Angela Davis. Don't get me wrong, as I don't find these descriptions to be insulting however I do wonder why they are inextricably linked to my decision to wear my natural hair. The dictionary defines militant as: vigorously active and aggressive, especially in support of a cause; engaged in warfare or fighting. What exactly does this have to do with hair? It has absolutely nothing to do with hair nor does it have anything to do with why I wear my hair natural. Let's be clear, I do consider myself to be a supporter of causes, especially those affecting African Americans but I have been that way all of my adult life only four of which my hair was natural. So what exactly is it that these people are saying. Are thy actually suggesting that at the precise moment the remaining relaxed ends were snipped from my hair, some switch inside of me automatically turned on causing me to become a militant person? That is absolutely asinine. Like I said, I don't find these descriptions to be insulting however if I am going to be described as such, I'd prefer that it be because of my passion, my overwhelming sense of right and wrong and my strong desire to a level playing field for all people, especially African Americans not because I choose to wear my own hair with no chemical treatments.



So let's examine why I an no doubt other women with natural hair are described as militant. I have a theory and I am anxious to see your input and hopefully spark a healthy debate. It is obvious that more African American women wear their hair relaxed rather than natural. What's ironic is that though it is not their true texture, it is considered the norm. Could it be that when an African American woman with relaxed hair is face to face with a woman with natural hair, it creates an unwanted moment of self examination? I believe that even though I wear my hair natural, there is a strong desire to keep it from becoming the norm as it should be. Let's be honest, how can alteration of your hair's natural appearance legitimately be considered the norm. I submit that by labeling a woman with natural hair as militant, it serves as a distinction which allows society to put them in a separate compartment outside the norm thereby sustaining the comfort level of women who choose to relax their hair. Don't misunderstand, this is not a judgment of women who relax their despite the factI and other women often feel judged for wearing our natural hair. I am in no position to judge those women because my hair was relaxed for much longer that it was natural hair. I just wish that natural hair could be considered what is is, just hair. I also would like for people to stop projecting their issues of self loathing on to me by calling me militant or giving me some long, unsolicited soliloquy about why they cannot go natural. I do not expect every black woman in the world to go natural nor do I care to be perfectly honest. Just be who and what you are and be secure in that. I make no apologies for who and what I am. I've been unapologetic, relaxed and natural......

The Natural Journey - Four Years and Counting

I've been natural for about 4 years now. To say it's been a journey would be an understatement. When I first went natural, it wasn't with any particular purpose in mind. It was a knee jerk decision to be perfectly honest though I was considering it in the back of mind. I was struggling to cope with losing my mother and had finally made the decision to enter counseling. The first few sessions made a world of difference. I began to feel a sense of release though I had a very long way to go. One day i was on my way to meet a client when something came over me. I called and rescheduled my appointment, drove straight to the closest barber shop to my house, sat down in the chair and said "Cut it all off". Everyone was looking at me like I had just stepped off of a space ship. My hair was shoulder length so I guess they couldn't believe I actually wanted to cut all of my hair off but I had never been so committed about anything in my whole life. I sat there as he snipped away with the scissors and then next the clippers. My shoulder length relaxed hair was now about an inch of natural hair. I turned around to the mirror and said "Oh my God, what have I done?" The barber said "Girl, are you crazy? That looks so fly on you. That's a wrap!" The rest of the shop cosigned his statements. I was immensely appreciative of the compliments but I left the shop feeling unsure of myself. I went home and constantly stared at myself in the mirror trying to fully take in what I had done. After a while, it started to grow on me so I decided I was going to go out and show off my new do. I hopped in the shower. It was so nice to let the hot water run all over my head, something I would have never considered when my hair was relaxed unless I was prepared to go through a 2 hour styling process. I figured, what the hell, might as well go ahead and wash and condition my new do while I'm at. When I stepped out of the shower, I started to apply my leave in conditioner and rediscovered the natural pattern of my hair and fell in love instantly. African American hair is so beautiful in the way it coils and does it's own thing. It's much more interesting than straight hair. I put a little styling gel on it, examined my hair from every angle. I looked at myself straight on in the mirror and said "Damn girl, you do look fly!" I got dressed, put on my make up and big hoop earrings and was out the door. I got compliments at every turn. I vowed on that day that I would never apply any more of the creamy crack (relaxers) to my hair. When I went back to my next counseling appointment, she looked at me and said, "you look like the weight of the world has been lifted off of you". I felt better than I had felt in two years. I no longer felt like the shell of myself I had become after my Mom died. I felt alive again. I kept my hair short for about 6 months then I decided to start growing it out. At first it was cool but then I reached a very awkward stage. I referred to it as the "Esther Rolle" stage, not short enough to be funky like the big chop but not long enough for the full hairstyles I desired. This was difficult for me. I felt self conscious and ugly at times. Looking back now I realize it was because I hadn't fully discovered everything my hair was capable of. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my hair or how to do it but I was certain I didn't want to relax it again. I decided to get kinky twists extensions to help me get through this period. I really enjoyed the twists but I was ready to set my hair free. After about 8 months of the kinky twists I did just that. My sister, who also has natural hair, introduced me to her stylist. I began to get twists, comb coils, rollersets and strawsets on my own hair though most of the time, I did twists. My hair flourished and was growing like a weed and was beginning to shape my face perfectly. Being the fickle person I am, I began to grow bored of the twists and wanted to do something more interesting, something less safe. I was on a mission to prove a point - that natural hair is beautiful, versatile and fits in our narrow minded society, particularly corporate america. I hadn't worn my hair out completely since it was in the short cut so I summoned up the nerve to wear an afro puff to work. I wasn't sure what to expect. People seem to assume that women with natural hair are militant so I didn't know if my co workers and managers would think I was about to incite a riot. It was well received for the most part but I could sense that some people were uncomfortable with it. Sadly, I was sensing this from other African Americans. It's amazing how self loathing is so ingrained in us. As a people, we honestly believe our hair is ugly, unacceptable and unprofessional. If I'm being honest with myself, it bothered me that I didn't have the support of all my brothers and sisters. Oddly enough, I get more compliments from white people than I do black people not that I seek or care about their approval. However some part of me wanted the approval of my own people. I had to shake it off because i was not going to allow myself to embrace the self loathing that plagued my race. I had to act as though I was unfazed although at times, I was. I had to "fake it until I made it". After a while, I did. I now walk out of the house everyday feeling confident and powerful. I have fully embraced what was given to me by God and I absolutely love it. One of the girls who works for me told me my hair has "character". She remarked that her own hair was boring because it's just long and straight and she wishes her hair could do what mine does. I rock the twists, twist outs, wash n go's, puffs, fros. It's funny sometimes because people never know what to expect. It reminds me of when I used to wear wigs and how I wore a different one from day to day sometimes. My friends used to call me Regine from Living Single. LOL. Some days, people think I've cut my hair. It's so much fun. I'm always asking myself why hadn't I done this sooner. Today one of the girls at my job asked me how I got my hair "that way". I was wearing a wash n go and it turned out great. It turns out her hair is natural but she flat irons it. I told her my process. She then says, "yeah but looking at how curly your hair is, you have a "good grade" of hair". I hate that terminology. Our self hatred runs so deep. I decided tot ake this moment to educate her. I told her their is no such thing as "good hair or bad hair", it's just hair. I also told her not to believe the hype about our hair. We're taught that our hair is ugly and unmanageable until we apply seering heat or a dangerous chemical to it and that we had to move away from that way of thinking. I told her it's all about understanding your hair, learning how to care for it, learning what your hair likes and knowing what your hair will and will not do. I told her not to focus on someone else's hair type, style or texture because she could set herself up for disappointment. I certainly went down that road. I was more focused on the hair of other naturals than my own. I shared with her some of my pitfalls and my successes. I also told her the first step is full acceptance and embracing of her hair and everything else will fall into place eventually. She seemed to really take what I said to heart and she seemed very encouraged. It felt good to have positively impacted someone's outlook. I learned from this experience that as much as I would like to, I can't change the whole world in one day. Though I do not expect every black woman in America to go natural, I fully expect for natural hair to be fully accepted. I long for the day when it's no longer considered a fad or some "hot topic". Natural hair should be as much the norm as straight hair. All this time I though society was denying us the right to wear the hair we were born with but we have been denying ourselves this. I am encouraged to see more and more natural hairstyles on TV. Though it's mostly commercials, it's a start. Media has a huge impact on the opinions and views of others. The media has sold the idea of straight hair being beautiful for years so it can definitely sell the idea natural hair being beautiful. Until then, I will provide encouragement to other natural women when the opportunity arises. Well, thanks for reading....Smooches!